Family Matters

Here is one of the reasons I love my parents: Because they take care of me and I feel comfortable letting them help me. As I've mentioned before, I have wonderful, incredible, loving friends who have gone out of their way to do nice things for me time time and again. And I am always slightly, joyously, overwhelmed this happens because they're not even family. Because family - is truly it's own category. I don't regress when I'm with my folks, but I do feel safe and free to let someone else worry about me for a while.

A list of some of the things Mom and Dad did for me this week while they were visiting: Took me out to eat (they've decided Via Veneto on Fillmore is "Our Place"), hauled tons of crap to Goodwill, rearranged my furniture, hung pictures, put up bathroom shelves, hung my curtains, and bought furniture for me at antique stores and the Niles Garage Sale. I have a renewed appreciation for just how great - my apartment is. Oh, and that the 'rents are awesome, too.

Powerless

Damn you, Specialty's, and your ridiculously irresistible cookies. How can I say no to a warm peanut butter cookie that dissolves in my mouth and has the most intriguing texture of crumbly and creamy? It's the shortening. Cookies are just better with shortening. Butter makes 'em flat and crispy. Shortening makes 'em voluptuous and flexible. Like myself.

With the siren call of Specialty's across the street from my office building, I need to try to tune in to hear the annoying shrill wail of the gym. Really, why is my desire for cookies so disproportionate to my desire to exercise? Just not right.

Greetings from Corporate America

Are law firms considered "corporate"? I guess not - this is probably the sort of thing I should look up. 'Cuz that's what I do now - at least I THINK it might be what I do. Week One is under my belt, and it was painless. I'm a little worried that litigation work may prove to be all tedium and no reward - I can't say I wasn't warned. I also can't say that it makes much difference - I took this job for a very specific purpose, and if it helps me meet that purpose (namely financial security - see all previous entries) then I'm OK with it. I'd say "resigned" to it, but I think the point is that I will NOT resign.

I had a great discussion with my friend S. about a really compelling novel I'd loaned her (which I myself had borrowed from the co-founder of my Orange County book club) called My Sister's Keeper. I think it may finally be time to launch the Bay Area book club, now that I'm reminded of how much more exhilirating it is to share books with friends than to just read them by myself.

Calistoga, Sarifornia

A wonderful time was had by all! The original crew of 4 FOKers was increased by 2, as S. came up to enjoy Spa Day while K. came up to tour two wineries. The famed mud baths are indeed muddy, but not as invasive as some had led me to believe. But next time, I'll wear the shower cap.

A brief moment to rhapsodize on how wonderful my friends are - I felt so fortunate to be surrounded by such an enthusiastic, interesting, loving, caring, funny, and easy-going group of women. As much as I love being around them, I also took tremendous satisfaction in how much they seemed to enjoy each other. Blending friends can be tricky business, but everyone seemed to get along as though they'd known each other for ages. Maybe that's because I talk about my friends so much. (Does that make anyone nervous? Heheheh... :-) Or maybe it's just because the people I like are just so damn likable.

I may have been the least relaxed out of the whole crew by the end, though. I took on a lot of self-inflicted anxiety to see that appointments were booked, sights were seen, everyone felt included, everyone was fed, and everyone was transported appropriately. Many of these things - HAPPEN, whether or not they are worried about. And it seems odd that I am usually pretty low-key, but still feel very tense whenever SCHEDULES are involved. This may - or may NOT be - what will make me well-suited to a legal career.

In any case, the last day of my break between jobs was mostly spent in bed. I've never spent so much time just- laying in bed. Pretty blissfully, I might add. I managed to rouse myself in the morning to make an appointment I had scheduled, then went back to bed when I came home. Got up around lunch time to have lunch, watch the episode of Over There I'd taped, and call home to check in with the 'rents. Then on my way to the shower, I ended up - back in bed. Until late afternoon, when I was inspired to get to the library to see if the 3rd disc for Freaks and Geeks had come in, and to use my computer. Not having a connection in my apartment is both liberating and annoying. The library closed, but I hadn't blogged yet, so I headed over to Cafe Lo Cubano to finish writing and watch the fog roll back over the neighborhood.

I myself will be rolling back down the hill now so I can - get back in bed. Kidding! I'm going to eat first. THEN go to bed.

Steven's Last Night in Town

Title comes from a Ben Folds Five song - an amusing ditty about a farewell that takes too long.

My own farewell here at work has been just long enough. And perhaps I've found a reason why I move and change jobs so much - the best way to be popular is to tell people you're leaving. I've gone out to lunches, happy hours, got phone calls, e-mails, and gift cards thanking me for my time here and wishing me well in my new position. This really was an office full of nice people.

And the job gave me the opportunity to start a blog. Where would the world be without one more introspective blog? A poorer place indeed.

Shoulds and Shouldn'ts

I saw Murderball last night with a friend. It's a documentary about wheelchair rugby. You should see it, unless you don't like stories about human dignity, father/son relationships, and/or sports. You should also see movies on weeknights once in a while. AND - the New Zealand team does the haka, which is awesome. (By the way, I keep my Blogger profile updated with my latest media adventures - which can sometimes serve as an interesting frame of reference for my current state of mind.)

One probably shouldn't google their ex, unless they want to see irritating images. Apparently, my ex just looovvveess weddings, because pics of his THIRD (in less than 10 years, and a mere 3 years after ours) show that it was another grand affair. And now I know he didn't leave me because he thought I was fat. Y'know, maybe this IS a should. (But I've decided I shouldn't link to it because - well, bleh.)

I know I pepper this blog with a ton of links, but if you only click on one it should be this one. "1600 pages of pure ugly" from a 1971 Sears catalog. The "Lemon Frog" pictures and captions had me laughing so hard I was choking back tears.

Shout Out

If you have Windows Media Player, you may have already explored some of the options available to you on the radio tuner. In fact, everyone may have super fancy - simple - newly ancient way of accessing music on the internet, and good for them. Anyway, my favorite station is a gem called radio ioEclectic. This is where I first heard The Postal Service, Mike Doughty, and Snow Patrol, where I learned that Tracy Bonham still had a recording career, and realized that I really liked Ben Folds. Check it out.

More Good News for Optimists

So where DID the title for this blog come from?

I have had a long-standing struggle with optimism, which is pretty well-summarized by a classic Far Side cartoon. The panel features four people, each looking at a glass of water filled to the half-way mark. The first declares, "This glass is half-empty!", the second, "This glass is half-full!", the third, "Half-full - no, wait! Half-empty - no! Half-", and the fourth, "Hey, I ordered a cheeseburger!" I - ordered the cheeseburger.

(I looked for a link to the actual cartoon, but stopped after reading this on a bulletin board. In case it was written by Gary Larson, I'm respecting his wishes because he's awesome. If it wasn't written by him, it saved I'm still using it as an excuse to forego the effort of locating this particular strip in one of my Far Side books and scanning it.)

One of the reasons I have a hard time succumbing to optimism is because I'm a realist. I remember reading of a study that asked people who self-identified as optimists and realists to guess how many people had died in the Holocaust. The optimists were WAY off, and underestimated to a tremendous degree. The realists were pretty darn close. (For the record, it's about 20 million. Sorry to bum you out.)

I have always placed a great deal of importance on being right. More so than being positive, although I think this is also important. It just seems that a sunny attitude without any background knowledge is pointless. Which is why I'm not an optimist, I suppose. But I wouldn't count myself as a pessimist because I don't think the worst possible outcome is more likely than the best possible outcome. I think you just don't know, but a good assessment of the facts at hand helps you prepare for either.

That being said, I envy the optimists. Clueless, happy bastards. Really, does all this thinking make me HAPPY? Not always. And then I came across this gem, regarding a study at the Mayo Clinic that demonstrates all the health benefits of being optimistic. And I thought, "Well more good news for optimists!", as if they need it. (See "Clueless, happy bastards.")

And why is this site more good news? To quote another comic work, by Ashleigh Brilliant (available for purchase in plaque form) -"It’s possible that my whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others." Take heed, optimists and realists and pessimists alike. Interpret my musings as you will, but keep in mind we're all better off with glasses or contacts shaded ever so slightly in the pink.