I Once Was Lost

Shout out to my loyal fan Cinnabuster - this recap's for you!!!

Wouldn't it be wild if The Others spoke Korean?

Ooohh. Not so noble savages. Yikes.

They're throwing them in the pokey! OK, I guess it's KINDA reasonable, but why does Michael think these are the same folks who took Walt?

Yay! Locke backstory! One where we don't already know what happens, because he's an actual mysterious character!

Uh, what sort of support group is this? Lost and found?

Hey! Katey Sagal! And she's hitting on the angry, possibly crazy guy. Perhaps not showing the best discretion.

You would think acoustics in a concrete bunker would preclude Kate sneaking up on anyone.

Huh. What DID you do? 'cuz it looks like the bullet took out the water heater. Which is inconvenient, but doesn't necessarily mean everyone's gonna die.

OK - pausing for commercials. Welcome to another stream of consciousness review of Lost. It won't help you out much if you didn't see the episode, but it is briefer than most recaps.

Jack, you are really terrible at reading people. This guy has 2 guns trained on him, he's unarmed, and panicked b/c you just SHOT at his HOUSE. Obviously, strange things are afoot here and HAVE been for quite some time, so why not TRY not to bully and intimidate him and maybe THEN you'll figure out what the hell is going on.

Call me old-fashioned, but you can't really be all that surprised when your one-night stand doesn't want to sleep over. He's not your BOYFRIEND, he's the guy you brought HOME. Oh, and should you really bring the angry, possibly crazy guy home? How about heading to HIS place?

Locke's dad is really cruel. And short-sighted. What if he needs a blood transfusion later?

Jack, you DON'T have time! JackASS. He is REALLY BAD at dealing with crazy people. Did he skip the psych rotation in med school? Why does the button-pushing push Jack's buttons? (Hee.) If it makes him happy, let the dude push buttons. Oh no.... a.... TRAINING VIDEO! Acckkkk! Bad acting!!! Arrrggghhh! Paper thin plot!!! Grrrmmpphhh! Pausing for questions!!!

Hey! This commercial features Millie from Freaks and Geeks! I'm glad she's getting work.

How did Jin understand "Who are they?" And Sawyer, dude, he already told you they're others. This seems like the opposite of talking louder to people who don't speak English. Yeah - maybe he'll understand if I speak in a heated WHISPER!! Oh, the hatch opens and... it puts the lotion on the girl?

Frankly, I have a hard time recognizing people I've met RECENTLY. Jack and Desmond recalling each other is pretty unlikely. Huh. So... Dharma is a science camp? OOohhh... electro-magnetic fluctuations... Did that dude just close with "Namaste"? I think Locke has just voiced the thoughts of freakish Lost fans all over... But, uh, I'm OK with one viewing. Honest. I'll read the in-depth summary on someone else's blog.

Following people is creepy. Not a good sign.

What a timely coincidence! The Others are on a people-finding rampage this week! I am pleased there will be another woman on the show. I hope she doesn't make me hate her. Sure, she flirted with Jack before she got on the plane, but I'm willing to forgive that.

Jack, Jack, Jack. Why must you be so antagonistic? I am glad the whole "Why do you have to push the button exactly?" question is being asked, b/c the video was not very explanatory (and no, thanks, I don't want to watch it again to make sure I didn't miss that critical expository sentence.) Did YOU ever think yelling at a nervous guy is a bit risky? Ooh. Sparks. Much worse than the blue screen of death. OK, if everyone's running away, why do they feel the need to close doors behind them?

Verizon has an offer ending on Columbus Day? How random is that?

Is that... Brian Austin Green in that horrific "Freddie" sitcom? Hang on. Must check IMDB. And OMG. I am NOT so happy he's still getting work.

I think we're about to find out what landed Katey Sagal in the support group. What's with the ultimatum, lady? Have you been watching too much Oprah, or Dr. Phil? Dude is not right in the head. Stalking him, and only confronting him in the middle of the night instead of, oh say, any OTHER time you're having a conversation, doesn't make you very appealing.

Uh-oh. Big dude found the pantry. He may be a bit distracted now.

Check out Jin's eye movement there. Hmm - looks like the mouthy whitey is taking some lip from this feisty chick.

Raise your hand if you are really surprised she's an other. Yeah, me neither. I got that impression from last week's commercials, too. I can't honestly say I was skeptical the whole time she was in the pit, but I'm also - not shocked.

I still don't want to watch "Invasion", but that man with the dimples is BEEYOOTIFUL.

Why is he running? Uh, maybe it's from you. Ahhh... Desmond didn't recognize him right away. This is much more believable. P.S. I hope Jack's wife divorced his ass, and he doesn't have some right to be all tragic 'cuz she died horribly.

Now Sayid's logic? I like. I will fix first, THEN ask questions. I'm pretty excited that Hurley's gonna be around to hear the number sequence. Good thing they've added an annoying buzzer here b/c button pushing? Not all that dramatic. Homer's freakin' drinking bird could do it.

Whaddya know. Locke wins the battle of wills. Heh.

WAIT. Jin speaks... Y'know, I'm willing to bet that clip is from a dream sequence. Any takers?