Um... thanks?

My dear friend KDK is looking out for me. Like me, she doesn't understand why I'm perpetually single in this large city, and would be happy to help me find a nice guy. Or... A guy. When she finds out someone she knows has a friend in San Francisco she asks about him. Recently, a co-worker told her she had a friend who'd recently moved to San Francisco, and described him as "kind of cranky". Kathy said, "Really? I have a girl for him..." To which the response was - and this should not come as a surprise to anyone familiar with the dating scene here, let ALONE my consistently outstanding relationship with fate - "Oh, he's already seeing someone."

Which lead me to envision other new scenarios.

"Yes, he moved to San Francisco because America's extradition laws are much less stringent than Belgium's. Oh, he's dating someone pretty seriously."

"Well, once he found out that the police can't forcibly hospitalize anyone found living on the streets he rolled his shopping cart right down the Golden Gate Bridge. Oh, he's getting married next month."

"He found a spot to park the trailer in the East Bay so he didn't have to give up his meth lab when he took that job in San Francisco. Oh, he just broke up with his girlfriend and started dating her roommate."

It isn't just the fact that I have been so spectacularly unsuccessful in the dating arena. It's the fact that so many losers, parolees, dullards, and assholes seem to pair up so quickly and easily.