Back Home - Part 2

I hardly slept at all that night. I was excited, and happy, and... starving.

Friday morning, I went to my friend A.L.'s apartment, where Ms. B. and her newly adopted 10-year old daughter - and she told me they sometimes call her a mini-Kathy, b/c she can be a wiseass - were going to meet us to go to the zoo. We hadn't told Ms. B. I was coming, and when I answered the door, she did a double-take - then actually jumped up and down and squealed. It was very sweet. They were excited to hear about the L.C., and we were happy to meet the little mini-me. You never know where you might find new family, and this little girl is lucky to have joined such a terrific one - Ms. B. and hers have been so generous and welcoming to me, I know this little girl is going to have a wonderful home.

As much fun as the zoo is, it gets to be kind of a drag as the temperature rises. No monkey is fun when the sun is beating down on your head. And you're anxious. And haven't slept.

I was feeling OK until about 4, and I realized that the phone in my purse that wasn't ringing - was the L.C. not calling. My mood started to deteriorate, and I grew quieter.

Got back to Snake's house, took a shower, and got dressed to go on the Rocket Scientist's boat for his birthday. The phone continued to not ring. J. said maybe something happened, b/c he did say he was going to come. Snake said maybe he'll still call.

We sailed over to the Bali Hai, and had pina coladas, and I tried to mingle - but I was deflated.

He just. Never. Called. I didn't take it very well.

The next morning, Saturday, I walked along the bay and called my friend J.N. She was so sympathetic, and angry on my behalf, and it was just what I needed. I decided I did NOT want to let the L.C. just ignore me, because he really, really hurt my feelings. I would not have treated a friend that way, let alone somebody I'd kissed. If someone is in town for a short time, and you flat out tell them you will see them the next day, and flat out say you will call, and flat out say you're going to join that person and her friends for an event - you fucking call if you're not actually going to show up. It's just courtesy.

I was very calm, and I left a message telling him I was surprised I hadn't heard from him and that I really just wanted some sort of explanation because I was confused. It was light in tone, but sincere, and I felt better.

Later, D.L. and her husband came to pick me up and bring me back to their house for the day. We had breakfast at the Brockton Villa in La Jolla, and I gotta tell you - best damn eggs benedict I've ever had. Ever. "Carne Asada Benedict: House-Made Carne Asada Avocado Poached Eggs on an English Muffin. Topped with a Cilantro Hollandaise Sauce." And a mimosa. Not a cure for a crumpled up little heart, but a damn fine soothing balm.

He did actually call back later that day - after I'd left my phone behind while we went to the beach, b/c I couldn't bear another day of watching it not ring - and left a message. Tone was casual. Said he got back late from class and was still hungover from Thursday and just crashed. We should talk, give me a call.

Oi.

I did call, left a much less polished message - something like don't think I'm the crazy girl who hounds guys, and I'm around all evening so call anytime.

Yeah, you know he didn't call.

Originally, I'd bought a ticket to fly back on Monday. But I was just. Done. I wanted to go home. I felt rather disgusted with myself, and especially disgusted with the Ex L.C., and tired of the sun and relentless casual atmosphere of San Diego. Crazy, huh? I think it's a great city. I do like it, and I see why others love it - but it feels similar to Orange County for me, which I also liked and understood others love for. These places can be great - but I don't belong there. Something about me just doesn't fit. This isn't to say I couldn't or wouldn't live there and be relatively happy - but I don't feel the same affinity for it that I do here, in San Francisco.

I'm home. Thank GOD.